It’s a real thing! And it’s hit me like a smack in the face since I moved to the Netherlands.
I’m trying to fit in A LOT here, quite honestly probably too much. It’s taking its toll and I’m still working out how to make sure everything has its place in my schedule.
I feel like I’m missing out while lots of my closest friends are in Berlin, I’m missing out on the regularity of work and excitement of start-up life, I’m missing out on keeping up to date with my blog and I’ve definitely felt like I was missing out on some social things in my new home.
I am really lucky where I am, to work on my own terms, to live in such a beautiful place, and to have the opportunity to continue my studies whilst doing both of the above. But I’ve learned, very quickly, that if this is what I want to do then sacrifices are going to have to be made.
I have felt like the boring one quite a lot since arriving. That’s almost certainly just me overthinking and putting more pressure on myself than I should, but honestly all my brain can seem to focus on is the huge list of things that need doing, and I feel like the party pooper of the group for usually having to be the one that says ‘sorry I can’t today!’
The first week and a bit of my time here was easy peasy! I had prescheduled all of my posts on all websites and had made sure everything was done and sorted before the big move. But naturally, I can’t preschedule forever! And that meant that after week 1 shit hit the fan.
The fear of missing out is definitely still there for me, I want to do ALL the day trips with my new friends, go on the best nights out and even just sit in the kitchen for hours procrastinating but right now I just can’t. I think I’m getting better at accepting that I’m not boring just overloaded but it’s taking some time to not make myself feel guilty about.
I think what I’m trying to say with this post is, please be kind and patient with me! I’m really trying to get myself back down to earth and catch up with life but I think it’s going to take longer than anticipated. I’m gutted to not be posting as regularly and honestly at times I’ve really felt like I’ve been failing but I’m determined to get everything back on track and get back into a good frame of mind where I can write, read, gym and breath again!
Hang in there with me!